EVENT:
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LOCATION:
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BEST VIEW:
L!GHTS OUT #33
Taft Coliseum
Columbus, Ohio
5,000
Desktop 1920 x 1080
WELCOME TO THE SHOW
[Inside the Taft Coliseum, cameras panned and swept the sea of homemade posters, T-shirts and other merchandise featuring the combatants of Union Battleground and other wrestling and fighting talent and promotions. From all angles, the cameras floated atop the waves of posters, life-size cutouts and foam hands before converging on Fat Saul at ringside.]
FAT SAUL
Welcome everyone to Taft Coliseum, call me Saul; I am out here ringside with, I dunno, a couple thousand new friends because the Battleground has invaded the Buckeye State!
“O-H!”
[Now, look what Saul started…]
“I-O!”
[On opposing sides of the Coliseum, the fans chanted their State's rally call.]
FAT SAUL
We continue our march to Chicago; where, at War of the Worlds on April 21, we already know that Dead Cute, the team of Fallon Lockhart and Josh Kennedy, are one of three teams to challenge the Osaka Rebels. Tonight, we will add another team!
[“Hell-Cat!” chants drown Saul out, this crowd definitely has their favorites.]
FAT SAUL
The Hellcat Spangled Death Squad, represented by Lisa Seldon and Anastasia Hayden, will take on Camila Abrines and Rachelle LeRoux, the team of Unapologetic; tonight, in our main event!
[The chants are all over the place, even heard “FRANK-EN-STEIN!” and something about the Skull Kids. Columbus is loud and rowdy tonight.]
FAT SAUL
For y'all joinin’ us after the game today, thank ya! It was absolute Hell gettin’ in here and I'm glad y'all are safe. For those streamin’ us live, thank you for followin’ @BattlegroundNet. The War Horse Title will be on the line!
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
FAT SAUL
Nathan Turner will challenge Kaven Drell!
[Again, vocal about their support, the crowd cheered for the Champion.]
FAT SAUL
We will see Joanna Kreiger in action against Maverick. She has had a fantastic start here, already challengin’ for both the War Horse and Trench War titles. Maverick and partner, James Raymond, lost to Dead Cute last show.
[The cheers and chants were about even for both.]
FAT SAUL
Sounds like we won't be wastin’ any time gettin’ started here...
♫
IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE DAYS
WHERE YOU DON'T WANT TO WAKE UP
EVERYTHING IS FUCKED
EVERYBODY SUCKS
YOU DON'T REALLY KNOW WHY
BUT YOU WANT TO JUSTIFY
RIPPIN' SOMEONE'S HEAD OFF
♫
[Break Stuff' by Limp Bizkit hits the arena with the two distinct guitar riffs echoing off the walls. Strobe lights begin flashing throughout the arena as Cletus Franklin slowly steps out onto the stage before stopping at the top of the ramp. Cletus looks out into the crowd turning his head from the right side to the left side of the audience in attendance.]
FAT SAUL
Cletus debuted against Kaven Drell last week, not many get to do so, none have been successful thus far.
[Cletus removes a six pack of tall boys from behind his back with his left hand raising it high into the air as the fans give a mixed reaction. Cletus snags a can from the six pack with his right hand and pops the top before chugging down his beer at the top of the ramp as the fans continue with their mixed reaction.]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Ladies and gentlemen, we are live exclusively on the Battleground Network here at the Taft Coliseum in Columbus, Ohio and this is L!GHTS OUT #33! And now, the following battle is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing at 6’3” and weighing in at 275 pounds, from Brackenridge, Colorado, he is "The Messiah of Dilligaf" Cletus “Motherfuckin'” Franklin!
[Cletus makes his way down the ramp tossing the empty can behind him along his way. Cletus snags another can from the six pack and continues to drink another beer on his way down the ramp soaking in the mixed reaction from the crowd. He reaches ringside and makes his way around the ring as the bridge builds in the music. Cletus chugs the rest of his beer tossing the empty can into the crowd as he jumps up onto the ring apron. Just as Fred Durst screams out "BREAK YOUR FUCKING FACE TONIGHT" Cletus spits his beer into the air and raises the remaining six pack high into the air when orange pyro's erupt from above and the four corner post. Cletus makes his way into the ring spinning in circles with his arms outstretched wide before falling to his knees in the middle of the ring. He continues to keep his arms outstretched wide while looking out into the crowd and than shouts out "The Messiah of Dilligaf" has arrived.]
FAT SAUL
Cletus is lookin’ to turn things around here tonight, y'all…
[Cletus than removes his jacket before making his way back up to his feet and hands over his jacket and remaining six pack over to a member of the ring crew before standing in his corner.]
FAT SAUL
...against Ol´ Saul's favorite, send me hate mail if y'all must, but I don't bite my tongue sayin’ it! Here comes The Burner!
["Chasing Rabbits" By Eazy Mac begins to hypnotically play across the PA system as the the lights in the arena dim, to where you can barely see a few feet in front of you. A few small lights still left on the stage show you that a smoke has started to engulf the stage.]
MIKE DEMPSEY
And his opponent, standing 5’10” and weighing in at 213 pounds, from Pontiac, Illinois, he is “The Burner” Flash Kassidy!
♫
ONE PILL MAKES YOU LARGER AND
ONE PILL MAKES YOU SMALL AND
THE ONES THAT MOTHER GIVES YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING AT ALL
GO CHASING RABBITS
♫
[As that last line gets said, a spotlight hits the center of the stage and Flash Kassidy moshes forward, his hair flying into his face. He then throws his head back and takes a stance on the stage, legs slightly spread, with a cocky as fuck smirk across his face - showing off his golden grill. He looks around the arena through his signature shades, his head ever bobbing to the beat of the song. Flash nonchalantly takes a step forward and starts making his way down the ramp, the entire time vibing to his own entrance music. ]
♫
SO TAKE A HIKE AND PUT ACID TABS IN YOUR MAXI PADS
COP A FANNY PACK AND ACT LIKE HALF THESE CATS WHO BATTLE RAP
MY TUNES DOPE, HEAVY HAYMAKERS LIKE SUMOS
♫
[As Flash approaches the ring he walks over to the steps, grabbing the ring post with one hand and pulling himself up. He stands on the apron for a few more moments continuing to just really get into his theme music. He then jumps up on the ropes, as if going for a springboard before dropping down inside the ring and instantly laying back against the ring ropes. Flash pushes his back up against the ropes a few times before bouncing forward and stopping in the middle of the ring.]
FAT SAUL
A lot of y'all sour that he's takin’ new attitude and, for those of us that understand when we've had enough, we understand!
[He then runs one hand through his long blond hair before chuckling to himself. As he walks over to his corner there is a bit of drunken, loose swagger to his steps. He puts his back up against the corner, and waits until the very last minute to take off his shades.]
FAT SAUL
Keep up with Flash Kassidy on Twitter, follow him @FlashMeKassidy...
[The two men stare each other down from across the ring.]
FAT SAUL
Can't help but be the old man that says that hopin’ one of these good lookin’ gals in the front row might be named Cassidy.
[The glares are intense as the referee calls for the bell!]
FAT SAUL
Not tonight?
[DING!]
FAT SAUL
And, there's the bell!
[Franklin and Flash both make a mad dash at each other! They lock up in the center of the ring in a grapple before Cletus breaks it with a sharp knee! He tosses Kassidy toward the ropes with an irish whip! Flash hits the ropes then slingshots back at Franklin full speed ahead! Cletus goes for a clothesline but he ducks it! Flash hits the ropes behind Cletus, who spins around to catch a superman forearm from Slick-Back!]
FAT SAUL
...clothesline, no! Comin’ back and POW! Kassidy goin’ to the corner… no he's..
[Kassidy hurries over to the ropes while Franklin rolls around on the mat now struggling to get back to his feet after the counter. Cletus gets back to his feet quickly but Kassidy now stands on the apron clutching the top rope with both hands facing back out into the ring.]
FAT SAUL
Out there on the apron! Just a-waitin’ on him!
[The crowd goes knutz with anticipation as Franklin turns around leading Flash to leap up on the top rope to springboard off. The camera angle spins around then slows slightly to show Cletus leap up with a counter of his own! He catches Flash with a wicked cutter that riles up the crowd!]
FAT SAUL
Wicked reversal; and, there's the cover!
[Cletus falls down alongside Kassidy to hook a leg quickly!]
… One!
… Kick Out!
[Cletus gets to his feet quickly, with little, if any, frustration shown from Flash kicking out of the pin immediately. Franklin reaches down to get ahold of Kassidy, who pushes him into the ropes! Cletus tumbles back then gets tripped up over his own feet! He ends up falling into the top rope then over it! Franklin ends up with both legs tangled up in the top and middle ropes while dangling down toward the apron on the outside of the ring! The referee rushes over to help while Kassidy leaps to his feet!]
FAT SAUL
Franklin is hung up there in the ropes, just a-danglin’ on the outside upside… what's Flash...
[Flash looks at his helpless opponent then back at the ropes behind him. Kassidy backs into the ropes quickly to slingshot himself at his opponent! Flash hits the mat to slide beneath the bottom rope to drop kick Cletus in the head with both feet! The violent shot sends Franklin’s body out from the ropes, but both legs being tangled causes a pendulum effect and his head smashes back into the side of the apron like a human palindrome!]
FAT SAUL
Baseball slide kick to the head and then, the ring got a lick in too!
[The referee warns Kassidy while Cletus comes untangled and crashes off the side of the apron to end up on the outside floor!]
FAT SAUL
With no way to catch himself, he just crashed to the floor ...but look at this!
[Flash quickly hoists up his larger opponent to roll Cletus back into the ring. Kassidy follows close behind to end up alongside Franklin to hook a leg!]
… One!
… Two!
… Kick out!
FAT SAUL
Franklin got a shoulder up!
[Cletus manages to roll over onto his side then push himself up to both knees. Kassidy is already back up and circling his ailing opponent.]
FAT SAUL
Keepin’ him dead-to-rites in the crosshairs. Here we go!
[Flash attacks! He comes running in only for Franklin to surprise him with a swift kick to the gut followed by a pop up powerbomb before falling back onto the mat! Both men are now down looking up at the bright lights.]
FAT SAUL
Both are down! Neither movin’! Man, what a match! That's what ya gonna find every show. Guys like Flash who, long before Ol’ Saul's first day here and every show since, he just keeps comin’; whether he finds rain or shine on the Battleground, he just keeps comin’...
[Cletus is the first to stir.]
FAT SAUL
Combatants, like Cletus there, who understand, the real competition is right here, on the Battleground! Here we go, Franklin crawling...
[He crawls over to Flash before getting to one knee. Franklin then stands, reaching to pull Kassidy to a vertical base with him. He irish whips the staggered wrestler into the ropes! Flash comes flying back in to get picked up from the side by Cletus, but Kassidy turns the maneuver into a tilt-a-whirl stunner! The crowd pops!]
FAT SAUL
Makin’ some space...
[Franklin quickly rolls out of the ring completely frustrated by the agility and speed of Flash Kassidy!]
[Cletus staggers on the outside and hits the apron with two balled fists in pure frustration. Flash gathers himself inside the ring after the amazing counter. Franklin walks over to the ring steps and quickly picks up the top one and tosses it aside. He then takes the bottom ring step and carefully sits it alongside the top before looking back in the ring at Flash. A sinister grin crosses Franklin’s face.]
FAT SAUL
That look means “up to nothin’ pleasant”…
[Kassidy leaps to his feet suddenly and then, he charges across the ring! This catches Cletus off guard completely! Flash dives over the top rope looking for a cross body but Franklin catches him out of the air! He continues Kassidy’s forward momentum by dropping back to sling the superstar into the security barrier! Flash’s speed and weight takes out the barrier!]
FAT SAUL
First match of the night and we're already tearin’ the Coliseum down.
[The crowd goes crazy while Cletus looks back at the carnage.]
FAT SAUL
Check out that replay! The Burner takes flight, gets caught and thrown through the barrier.
[Franklin gets to his feet then walks over to Kassidy, who is laid out atop of the fallen barrier. Cletus takes hold of his left foot then begins to drag Flash toward the two ring steps he previously disassembled.]
FAT SAUL
Blood in the air! Nothin’ but nastiness in that sneer...
[The camera comes in close to catch the sadistic look in the eyes of Cletus Franklin, who appears to have violent intentions for Kassidy now.]
FAT SAUL
Franklin has him where he wants him… POW!
[He drags Flash over to the steps then bends down to pick Kassidy up, who counters with two feet to the face! The sudden unexpected shot sends Franklin back but he turns slightly to his right to nail the ring post face first!]
FAT SAUL
The dangers of fightin’ outside the ring. Oh, man, look where he's put himself...
[Cletus ends up flat on his back laid out across the ring steps! Flash holds his ribs as he looks at his handy work. He then slowly rolls beneath the bottom rope to end up back in the ring!]
FAT SAUL
Stopped the count for lull in action on the outside…
[The referee halts his count while Flash scales the turnbuckles closest to the Franklin, who is still laid out on the ring steps on the outside floor.]
FAT SAUL
...and now, he's goin’ up!
[The camera pans in close to catch every second of Kassidy’s climb. He works up the crowd briefly before lining himself up with Cletus on the outside. Flash leaps off the top turnbuckle to do a backflip! He ends up with a double footstomp on Franklin, who is now out cold!]
FAT SAUL and THE CROWD
OH!
FAT SAUL
Okay, show us that again!
[The replay is shown of the wicked aerial assault that smashed Cletus’s head between the cold steel and feet of Flash Kassidy.]
FAT SAUL
Now, ya gotta get him back in the ring...
[Cletus, deadweight at this point, proved more than Flash was able to hoist to the apron. Gassed, Flash pulled and tugged for a couple minutes and then the load was lightened.]
FAT SAUL
Here comes the cavalry!
[Flash, glanced up, his partner had darted to the ring to assist. Jay Sinclair did most of the work getting Franklin into the ring, even rolled him in under the bottom rope against the referee's orders not to do so.]
FAT SAUL
Look at that! Oh, MAN! ...
[As Cletus rolled, he appears to have a fractured left eye socket now! The shot of his face crosses the big screen leading the crowd to collectively gasp with real concern.]
FAT SAUL
This has to be it!
[Kassidy quickly scoops up a leg!]
… One!
… Two!
… Three!
[DING DING DING!]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Here is your winner, “The Burner” Flash Kassidy!
[Flash gets up on the turnbuckles to further incite the crowd. He holds both arms high into the air after a dominant performance. The referee comes in to hold his right arm high in victory. Medics rush down the ramp, but Sinclair baseball slides headfirst into the ring and starts laying the boots to Franklin!]
FAT SAUL
The match is over… c'mon!
[Sinclair picks Franklin up by his dreads and hoists him up high in the electric chair position! Franklin sits high on Sinclair’s shoulders as Kassidy plays the crowd up before running the ropes.]
FAT SAUL
We will see them next week as they… but tonight, Cletus Franklin gonna get a dose of...
[Kassidy springboards off the middle rope and catches Franklin with a reverse hurricanrana and spikes him on the crown of his head!]
“2! HIGH! KRU!”
[The crowd gets riled up with a mixture of cheers and jeers as Kassidy and Sinclair strike a pose, the only two left standing in the ring. Both men finally roll out of the ring and gestures championships around their waist as they backpedal up the ramp. Medical staff hurry to Franklin's aid in the ring.]
FAT SAUL
They are gonna need a few minutes, we'll be right back, y'all!
COMMERCIAL BREAK
FAT SAUL
Welcome back everyone, this is Ol´ Saul, ringside here in Columbus, Ohio… for Lights Out! We are gonna keep right in the thick of it, lets get to the next battle!
MIKE DEMPSEY
The following battle is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing 5’11” and weighing in at 200 pounds, from The Purple Church, making his Union Battleground debut, Brother Lavender!
[After a few moments of eerie silence lingers in the arena, Brother Lavender slowly comes out to ringside. He is smiling and has a look of pure bliss on his face. He walks down the ramp with his arms outstretched in the air.]
FAT SAUL
Brother Lavender makin’ his debut here tonight. A lot of new faces makin’ big impact this season, he is unique to say the least.
[Lavender walks up the stairs and stops on the apron. He looks around at his surroundings and has a gaze on his face like one that is astounded by everything. He smiles a wide smile while entering the ring.]
FAT SAUL
It's gonna be interestin’ to see how Lavender handles the sideshow...
MIKE DEMPSEY
And his opponent, standing Taller than a Step Ladder and weighing at 200 Barrels of Monkeys, from the Carnival Grounds, he is “The Oddity” Karnivall!
♫
DEATH IS ON THE MIDWAY GAMBLING WITH SOULS
ROULETTE ON THE WIRE, ACE IS IN THE HOLE
I SINK BENEATH THE FEELING, MOON IS IN MY HANDS
A CROOKED WHEEL OF 21, I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND NO
♫
[The screen cuts to a few images of a broken down Carnival and quick shots of Karnivall before the music begins. After the intro plays out we see Karnivall make his way from the back, chuckling as he looks around at the crowd. He comes to the edge of the ramp as he spreads his arms out to the sides and twists his hands back as he turns his head to the side with a Devilish grin across his face. He does a quick spin as he eyes the camera. Karnivall slithers down the ramp, chuckling and playing to the crowds fear.]
FAT SAUL
Like any carnival or circus, Karnivall has had his sell-out moments ...and he's had his lulls.
[Karnivall comes to the edge of the ring where he rolls in under the ropes and gets to his rear end. He begins rocking back and forth as he continues to chuckle over and over again. He stands up and begins circling the ring, looking out at the crowd. He finally finds a corner and slumps into it, laughing with a demoralized chuckle as he awaits for the match to begin.]
FAT SAUL
Be sure to follow Karnivall on Twitter, @KarnivallOddity.
[DING!]
FAT SAUL
There's the bell! Let's see if Karni… yep...
[Karnivall and Lavender slowly close the distance toward the center of the ring. Karnivall tries to do some of his usual trickery tactics by stretching his hand out looking for a handshake, but Lavender is wise to not walk into his trap. This angers the Oddity and he launches a big boot to the midsection.]
FAT SAUL
Karnivall offended with Lavender's refusal.
[Lavender hunkers over and Karnivall wraps him in a side headlock. Karnivall begins wailing away with some stiff punches to Lavender’s head, and soon Lavender retaliates with some elbows to the ribs.]
FAT SAUL
Buryin’ them deep! Lavender fighting to get out...
[Lavender is able to loosen Karnivall’s grip, and he Irish whips him across the ring. Karnivall bounces back and gets planted with a standing hurricanrana from Brother Lavender! The Patriarch of The Purple Church pops back to his feet and begins running the rope himself. Lavender bounces off one side and hops over Karnivall.]
FAT SAUL
WAIT! HOLD ON!
[Before Lavender can bounce off the opposite ropes, Union Battleground War Horse Champion Kaven Drell slides into the ring and catches Lavender with the devastating Kill Drell!]
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
[Lavender is knocked out cold and Drell kicks him over until he rolls out of the ring.]
FAT SAUL
Kaven Drell disposin’ of one body and now, Karnivall is crawling up the corner… he has no idea!
[Kaven then directs his attention to his King Cobra PPV opponent, Karnivall, who is slowly making his way to his feet. Just as he stands upright, Drell rushes in and begins continuously headbutting The Oddity until he falls through the ropes and collapses to the outside!]
FAT SAUL
Brings Ol´ Saul back to the first we ever witnessed the intensity of Kaven Drell. He has battered both of them lifeless.
[The referee has no other choice but to call for the bell and darts out of the ring before he becomes Kaven’s next target!]
FAT SAUL
Oh, Man, get out of there!
[DING DING DING!]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Ladies and gentlemen, due to outside interference, the referee has ordered that this match be rules a no contest!
FAT SAUL
The referee said forget it!
[Kaven remains in the ring waving his hands, for a referee, his opponent, a microphone who knows.]
FAT SAUL
He could stay right there; I mean, the next challenge to his title is to follow, but he has wiped everyone out.
KAVEN DRELL
I’ve been everywhere, man...
[Drell softly sings the famous Johnny Cash tune and drops the mic. Clearly, it was a call out to his next opposition, Nathan Turner. The crowd waits with bated breath, and finally…]
​
♫
I'M BROKE AND I'M HUNGRY
I'M HARD UP AND I'M LONELY
I'VE BEEN DANCING ON THIS KILLING FLOOR
FOR YEARS
OF THE FEW THINGS I'M CERTAIN,
I'M THE CAPTAIN OF MY BURDEN
I'M SORRY DOLL,
I COULD NEVER STOP THE RAIN
♫
[The opening guitar riff of The Gaslight Anthem's "I Could'a Been a Contender" gets the fans on their feet as Nathan Turner steps out onto the entrance area.]
FAT SAUL
The Everyman gonna take his crack at the War Horse title right now!
[He pauses at the top of the entrance ramp, and looks down the aisle and stares daggers at Drell inside the ring. He points to the crowd before running down the ramp. Once at the ringside, Nathan slides underneath the bottom rope and into the ring.]
FAT SAUL
And, they ain't gonna wait!
[The referee calls for the bell, still standing from the outside before cautiously climbing in the ring.]
FAT SAUL
The referee ain't so anxious gettin’ in there.
[DING!]
FAT SAUL
The Champion will rush right back at ya, no swerve, y'all.
[Kaven takes off at Nathan, who stands his ground! Drell nails him with a knife edge chop across the chest! Turner backs into the corner only to catch another vicious chop from the champion. Drell follows up by whipping Nathan into the ropes before hitting the ropes on the opposite side to build up even more steam. The two men meet in the ring with Turner countering with an unexpected knee lift!]
FAT SAUL
Crafty! The Champ is …
[Drell ends up on his back but leaps back to his feet in a single bound!]
FAT SAUL
...right back up!
[Turner rushes at Kaven, but he counters with an atomic drop! Nathan leans forward leading Drell to hoist him up for a fireman’s carry slam!]
FAT SAUL
Full control, but where's he goin’?!
[Drell does not go for the pin, but instead, rolls out of the ring. He kicks one of the wrestlers laid out on the floor before getting beneath the ring. Nathan staggers to his feet inside the ring as the champion rises up alongside the apron.]
FAT SAUL
Looks like he's found what he was after…
[Drell holds a box in his hand which catches his opponents attention. Kaven rolls into the ring while holding the box close to his chest. Nathan stands at a distance while Drell rips the box open to spill out thumbtacks all over the center of the ring!]
FAT SAUL
That box was completely packed with tacks! Thousands of them!
[The referee grasps her head in both hands…]
FAT SAUL
There ain't no cleanin’ them lickity-split, Darlin’...
[...then shrugs slightly before gesturing the men to fight and sending the crowd into a rabid bloodthirst.]
FAT SAUL
Let them go! This is Union fuckin’ Battleground! Look at the Champion...
[A sadistic grin comes across the face of Kaven Drell while sheer terror consumes Turner.]
FAT SAUL
Nathan Turner gonna do his best to throw the Champ down first.
[Nathan comes in throwing punches only to catch a drop kick from a charging Kaven! Both men land in the thumb tacks.]
FAT SAUL
Youch!
[Drell pays the pain little mind but Turner let’s a real scream escape his lips with his back now covered in thumbtacks.]
FAT SAUL
Like sequins, catchin’ them ring lights.
[Nathan staggers around the ring attempting to remove the tacks unsuccessfully. He backs right into Kaven, who wraps both arms around Turner for a picture perfect exploder suplex right back into the pile of thumb tacks.]
FAT SAUL
Turner, back-first, right back down into them!
[Drell gets back to his feet quickly then rushes over to his opponent. He rolls over Nathan, who attempts in vain to fight the champion off. Kaven grasps hold of Turner by both ears with real force.]
FAT SAUL
Cover your eyes children!
[Drell then smashes the challengers face into the thumbtacks with malice intent! Over and over, Kaven slams Nathan’s face into the pile of tacks with real glee. The referee has lost complete control of this one and knows it.]
FAT SAUL
She looks lost in there! She had no idea what she was gonna allow?
[The referee finally intervenes to allow Turner to escape the grip of the champion. Nathan has thumbtacks stuck all across his forehead!]
FAT SAUL
Oh shit, don't look at the screen…
[The crowd groans at the replay while Drell waits for the referee to resume the match from a different corner.]
FAT SAUL
She's checkin’ Turner over. He says he's good.
[The referee allows Nathan to continue. She resumes the matchup with Drell coming out of nowhere with a step up enziguri on Turner!]
FAT SAUL
Back down! Quicker than a hiccup! Drell goin’ up...
[Drell then follows up by scaling the corner closest to his fallen opponent. Turner lies on the mat now lifeless leading the champion to dive off looking for a big headbutt! Miss!]
“HO-LY! SHIT!”
[Nathan rolls out of the way at the last possible moment! Kaven raises up to reveal the whole left side of his face now covered in thumbtacks! Both men remain on the mat leading the referee to begin her count.]
FAT SAUL
Both wiped out. Both heavily adorned in tacks. Both gettin’ counted out...
[The referee’s count reaches six when Kaven begins to stir.]
FAT SAUL
The Champion is movin’... WHOA!
[Suddenly Turner pops up! Both men stagger up to a vertical base to beat the count. The crowd goes wild as the two men immediately begin throwing blows! Nathan catches Drell with a solid jab then uppercut! This staggers the champion a bit but he comes forward with a right cross followed closely by an elbow! This violent lick dazes Nathan slightly but he throws an elbow of his own!]
FAT SAUL
Vicious exchange of elbows!
[Turner sends Drell back into the ropes then follows up quickly by clotheslining the champion out of the ring! Kaven bounces off the apron then lands on the outside floor.]
FAT SAUL
Oh man, I understand more punishment, but ya just can't beat ya opponent out here.
[Nathan begins “feeling” it after achieving this. He works the crowd with his back to his opponent.]
FAT SAUL
Turner thinks he's got him. The energy is a-buildin’ in here… uh oh, look at this...
[Drell pops back up to his feet to look up at Turner, who believes he’s got this one after sending Kaven to the outside. Drell reaches beneath the bottom rope with both hands to get ahold of each one of Nathan’s ankles!]
FAT SAUL
Oh, man, if he…
[Kaven yanks both feet out from beneath his opponent in a single motion!]
FAT SAUL and THE CROWD
OH!
[Turner hits the mat face first to further drive the thumbtacks into his already mangled forehead.]
FAT SAUL
There has to be close to a-hundred tacks in his… Kaven has him!
[Nathan rolls onto his back only to be caught by Drell! Kaven sits on his opponent’s chest to mount punches! Turner tries to cover up but Drell uses his knees and body weight to impose his will. Kaven watches Nathan extend his left hand out to tap but the champion does not allow this! Turner’s eyes widen as Drell rises up off his chest to stomp down on Nathan’s left hand! Kaven leaps up high into the air then comes back down for another huge stomp!]
CRUNCH!
FAT SAUL
Did any of y'all hear that?
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
[The hand has multiple broken fingers now leading Turner to clutch it close after the second mud hole stomp.]
FAT SAUL
Ain't seen nothin’ that mangled since Kaven left these other two bashed up before this battle started.
[The referee comes in to check on Nathan, who is now a mess. Turner looks at her, now bleeding from his forehead and back. Many thumbtacks are stuck in his body all over. Drell comes in out of nowhere with a kick to the gut! Kaven then hooks Nathan for a wicked implant DDT!]
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
[Chants fill the arena as the champion leaps back to his feet!]
FAT SAUL
Seen a wolf whoop on his alpha and do this here...
[The camera angle widens to show Drell circle Turner, who is helpless now. Nathan staggers to his feet only to catch a big time ripcord elbow out of nowhere!]
FAT SAUL
Oh! Another head-ringin’ elbow!
[The crowd goes crazy when Kaven takes hold of Nathan for headbutt after headbutt! With each solid strike between the two wrestler’s skulls drives the tacks in each man deeper and deeper!]
FAT SAUL
Look at the splatter with each shot.
[Finally Turner catches a third headbutt that knocks him out cold.]
FAT SAUL
That one rolled his eyes!
[Drell drops down alongside Nathan to hook a leg!]
… One!
… Two!
… Three!
FAT SAUL
And, it's over!
[DING DING DING!]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Here is your winner, AND STILL Union Battleground War Horse Champion, Kaven Drell!
[Drell rises to his feet with his own head bleeding now, following the barrage of headbutts.]
FAT SAUL
He has laid three men to waste out here tonight!
[A solid victory where he outfoxed his foe at every turn. Medics rush down the ramp with stretchers to retrieve Nathan Turner, Karnivall and Brother Lavender. The referee comes in to hand the champion his title before holding his right hand high in victory.]
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
TIME TO "SHAKE" THINGS UP
[The crowd is still riled up from the bloodbath they just witnessed as Drell steps up to the middle rope in the corner and strikes a pose with the War Horse Title held high. Drell motions for a microphone from a ringside crew member and the crowd starts amping up with the possible thought of Drell making his cash in! Drell looks throughout the crowd, soaking it all in while five thousand plus scream his name.]
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
"CASH! IT! IN!"
“KILL! DRELL! KILL!”
"CASH! IT! IN!"
[Kaven continues to soak in the moment with an ominous grin across his face. Slowly he draws the microphone up to his lips and inhales deeply before speaky.]
KAVEN DRELL
…
[Like a buzzsaw shredding the air overhead, that first chord rips from the speakers. Then, a second time before the driving beat and grinding riffs are rocking the entire arena. The lighting above the stage and ring pulse with the beat as Tempest steps out onto the stage. She's bobbing her head and working the crowd with her arms as the chorus hits.]
​
♫
I'M THE LAST BONESHAKER
I'M A RAGE AT WAR
I'M THE BRICK YARD BREAKER
HERE TO BREAK YOU OFF
WE CAN DO THIS THE HARD WAY
SPILL BLOOD ON THE FLOOR
IT'S TOO LATE, YOU CAN'T STOP THIS WAR
COME AND GET WHAT YOU CAME FOR
♫
​
[Mr. Boneshaker steps through the curtain behind her. He walks straight out to the top of the ramp. She sashays around him, taking the hood down from his head as she passes behind to the other side. Serious, focused, but slightly amused with Tempest's fun. The two stand atop the main stage, staring daggers down at Kaven in the ring. No one says a word, but each of the big men give a menacing nod as the feed fades off into a commercial.]
COMMERCIAL BREAK
FAT SAUL
Y'all welcome back from our commercial break. If you're just tunin' in, you just missed a helluva staredown from the dominating War Horse Champion Kaven Drell and what appears to be the newest signee to the Battleground, the one and only Mr. Boneshaker! If y'all remember a couple weeks back, Boneshaker was in the crowd in Jackson, Tennessee and made a subtle hint at facing Drell. Well tonight he wasn't so subtle as he interrupted Drell just a few moments ago, and we may have just seen a match in the making! But now, let's turn it over to good ol' Mike Dempsey in the ring.
​
MIKE DEMPSEY
The following battle is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, standing 5’11” and weighing in at 192 pounds, from Wexford, Ireland, representing the AWF, he is “The Iconic Prince” Maverick!
♫
INCEPTION (JUNKIE XL REMIX) BY HANZ ZIMMER
BEGINS TO PLAY
♫
[The arena fills to black, as the beat kicks in the lights flicker to the beat, slowly bringing light to the arena. Then, the beat drops and all the lights shine a bright red as out from the curtain is Maverick with his arms stretched out and a smirk on his face as he looks out into the crowd. He makes his way down to ringside and ignores all the hands reaching out to him.]
​
FAT SAUL
Maverick tried his hand in the War of the Worlds Battalion Qualifier match two weeks ago, teamin' up with his partner in crime James Raymond in an unsuccessful bid against the returning Fallon Lockhart and her boy toy, DTW World Champion Josh Kennedy. Now he comes back in singles action against a fiery German upstart.
[As he makes his way to ringside, he walks around the ring before climbing up to the apron and looking out to the crowd and sticking his middle finger up to them. He climbs into the ring and stands directly in the middle with the spotlight shining down, looking out to the crowd.]
MIKE DEMPSEY
And his opponent, standing 5’5” and weighing in at 130 pounds, from Nuremberg, Bavaria, Germany, representing the Wolf’s Lair, she is Johanna Krieger!
♫
BLOODSHOT EYES, METAL SKIN
SERPENTS TONGUE, DAGGER CLAWS
DRAGON WINGS, CROOKED HORNS
K.I.N.G
♫
[Johanna Krieger slowly steps out from the back with no lights around her standing in the center of the stage as a white spotlight suddenly flickers on. She holds the insides of her jacket as she moves down towards the ring.]
​
FAT SAUL
And here's that German import now. Krieger put on her war paint and dove into the pits of hell against Trench War champion Kimitsu Zombie. Krieger may have lost, but she didn't leave empty handed, scalpin' Zombie during the whole gruesome ordeal.
​
[Johanna runs up and slides across the ring apron on one knee holding the middle rope before sneering at the fans. She pulls herself up and slingshots herself through the ropes into the ring before spinning to the corner where she sits down.]
​
FAT SAUL
Let's get this started, y'all! Here comes the bell.
[DING!]
[The bell sounds and Maverick immediately rushes Krieger, who is still sitting in the corner. Maverick catapults himself and connects with a flying bicycle knee to Johanna’s face!]
FAT SAUL
Maverick certainly had a game plan tonight and wastin' no time executin'!
​
[He picks her up by her golden dreadlocks and starts hammering away with lightning fast stiff jabs. He slingshots her across the ring and she slams hard into the opposite turnbuckle.]
[Maverick again rushes in and launches himself at Johanna, but this time she rolls out of the way and allows the Iconic Prince to slam face first into the corner. Krieger positions from behind and locks her arms around Maverick’s neck and drops him with a dragon suplex.]
FAT SAUL
But Krieger fires right back at the Iconic Prince!
​
Krieger follows through and rolls on top of Maverick and tries to lock in her Koji Clutch trademark submission! Maverick jolts and latches onto the bottom rope, forcing the referee to order a rope break.]
[Krieger gives a sinister smiles as she grabs onto Maverick's hand. She rips his hand off of the rope and almost snaps his fingers as she bends them back!]
​
FAT SAUL
Snap, crackle, pop! I think the fans in the nose bleeds heard that one!
​
[Krieger manipulates Maverick back up to his feet while still wrenching on his hand, and as they both stand up, she delivers a vicious head kick and Maverick stumbles back on his heels!]
[As Maverick holds onto the rope to keep his footing, Krieger unloads on with a furious combination of punches to the head and body. Maverick tries to fend for himself, but Krieger is too fast and precise with her strikes, keeping him guessing as he eats every shot thrown at him.]
FAT SAUL
JoJo is firin' on all cylinders now!
​
Johanna finishes off her combo with a brutal elbow smash before Irish whipping Maverick across the ring. The Iconic Prince bounces off the ropes and comes soaring back to get leveled by a textbook crossbody. Johanna keeps the pressure on Maverick as she hooks a leg and the referee drops down to make the count!]
… One!
… Two!
… Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
Nope, not enough to keep him down.
[Maverick manages to break free, but Johanna continues with her offense and wraps Maverick into a dragon sleeper. Maverick flails his legs and twists his body, trying to break free, but Johanna wrenches back to tighten up even more. Maverick somehow manages to pop his head loose and the two scramble back to their feet.]
FAT SAUL
Stripes may wanna check Mav' out for greasin'. I don't know how he slipped outta that one.
​
[Maverick lands a heavy uppercut, but Johanna retaliates with quick right hook. Maverick backpedals a few steps, but catches his footing and fires back with a spinning heel kick. Krieger catches his leg in mid air and turns it into a standing ankle lock! Maverick squirms like a fish out of water before grabbing Johanna’s legs and rolling her forward and catching her in a pin attempt! The ref drops to the mat for the count!]
… One!
… Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
Sneaky move by Maverick. I like it, but he's gonna need more than that to put Krieger away.
[Johanna explodes out of the pin attempt and looks furious. Maverick backs away and tries to make a plea, but the German striker is having none of it. She rushes in like a runaway train only for Maverick to dive out of the way and allow Krieger to crash into the corner.]
​
FAT SAUL
JoJo may have jus' knocked the wind outta herself!
​
[Maverick tries to capitalize now and races back at his opponent , only for Johanna to roll out of the way. Maverick senses the counter and he avoids the collision by executing a triangle springboard up to the top rope. Maverick perfectly timed up his jumps and catapults himself back at Johanna and connects with a blockbuster neckbreaker! Maverick rolls on top to make a cover!]
… One!
… Two!
… Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
A little razzle dazzle high flyin' maneuverin' from Maverick nearly sealed the deal!
[Johanna kicks out with a fury and locks in her target as she crawls back up to her feet. Maverick tries to keep the pressure on Krieger, throwing stiff kicks and jabs, but Johanna blocks every kick and parry’s every punch. Maverick runs the ropes to utilize his lightning speed. On the return he launches himself at Johanna, but the Bavarian beauty connects with a perfectly time running bicycle knee out of nowhere!]
​
FAT SAUL
OH! Krieger out of nowhere with that Skold ov Makt! That's gotta be it for the Prince!
​
[Her signature Skold ov Makt drops The Iconic Prince like a ton of bricks and he lies unconscious on the canvas. With his eyes rolled in the back of his head, Krieger drops on top of him and hooks a leg for the cover!]
… One!
… Two!
… Three!
​
FAT SAUL
And that's all she wrote, folks!
[DING DING DING!]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Here is your winner, Johanna Krieger!
[Krieger makes it back to her feet and the referee raises her hand high in the air in victory. Krieger continues to show a stone cold focus in her eyes while snarling an almost evil grin to her fallen opposition.]
​
FAT SAUL
Johanna Krieger moves back into the win column tonight in convincing fashion. Stay tuned, y'all, we got our main event Battalion match next!
Sad lady talks shit II - featuring
her slightly less sad lady friend
[Oh, she’s back, and this time she’s brought company.]
SAVANNAH SKYE
Ladies and -
[That’s about all you’re going to hear out of her tonight because Lisa, in keeping with tradition, has stolen her microphone and pushed her out of shot. This is just workplace bullying now. They should stop her. They won’t, but they definitely should.]
LISA SELDON
Ana wouldn’t let me watch Camilia’s promo until five minutes before we arrived at the show. She said it was because she wanted me to be at my most hyped up right before the show. Really she just didn’t want me going on at her. Let me tell you, she was right to do it, because I am ridiculously annoyed and now everyone is going to hear about it.
[The cameraman takes a step back as Lisa moves on him like a rabid badger with opinions.]
LISA SELDON
It’s not even the stuff about me. I couldn’t give a shit about that. People are always telling me I’m overworked. They’re always saying I’m stretched to thin and obviously going to lose this time around. I’m not worried about that, because they keep saying that right up until the point we get together in the ring, their head explodes and inherit all their titles in their will.
[Ana shuffles awkwardly in the background. It doesn’t look like she’s getting a turn.]
LISA SELDON
I am stupidly successful. It is absurd how many belts I have to carry around at the one time. I’m thinking about hiring a third Skull Kid just to help out. So yeah, I don’t care what that idiot has to say about me because it’s the same boring, wrong shit everyone says before they lose to me. But to hear you try and tear down this.
[Lisa grabs Ana by the shoulders and pulls the former Liberty Pro champion in front of her. It doesn’t look like Ana knew that was about to happen.]
LISA SELDON
This brilliant, magical creature. It sickens me to my core.
[She pushes Ana out the way again. Why is she like this?]
LISA SELDON
Ana is arguably one of the greatest wrestlers in the world right now. She’s known and celebrated around the world. She’s won everything of any value she’s ever gone after. She’s won the hearts and minds of some of the most horrible and cynical people in the world. People like Bryan Laughlin. Artemis Kaiser. Me, the same person who nearly beat Ethan Giles to death. Twice.
[She holds up two fingers because it did happen twice.]
LISA SELDON
Ana has these people celebrating her return to film because she earned their respect or took it from them. She is unparalleled in any line up, and you’re bringing up Becky Balfour - Becky fucking Balfour - like she didn’t immediately overturn that disappointment by going on to become the top champion in the biggest company in the world.
[She points at her very aggressively. Like an angry mother and her shitty little sad kid.]
LISA SELDON
She is a veteran 12 world wars and once dropped a charging bull with a headbutt. She suplexed Redd Thunder, who I am reliably informed weighs somewhere in the region of 700 pounds. She has beaten Aoki Zombie in a deathmatch - twice - despite him being a ball of pure hatred, dogshit and knives. The rest of you are lucky to be in the ring with this dead-eyed, goddess, and you’re prancing about, smugly laughing and patting yourself on the back at all your own shit putdowns like you were on to something.
[She’s really going on in this one.]
LISA SELDON
You’re an idiot. A massive, fuck off, dick in your eye idiot, and the only thing you said that was right was that you weren’t going to get lucky in this match.
[She drags Ana over again and holds her head under her arm like a rugby ball. Ana is still here everyone. Look at that.]
LISA SELDON
We are a team. A proper one. We don’t have to spew some nonsense piece about the secret underground dojo where we came together as one and mastered the art of both doing a Dropkick at the same time. We just went out there, won a fuckton of matches together and actually did it.
[Ana looks like she’s being suffocated. With love, obviously. Still painful though.]
LISA SELDON
And as for Rachelle? Fuck Rachelle. She’s a fucking idiot for teaming with the other fucking idiot who just straight up assumed we probably aren’t a great team - because we’re both so successful on our own - and didn’t think it might be a good idea to fucking google us.
[She’s calming down a bit now. Or just running out of stuff to complain about anyway.]
LISA SELDON
Take a lesson from this. You’re gonna get nothing else out of it.
[Lisa finally releases Ana from her grasp and after a few coughs with a couple of gasps of air, Ana looks to finally take charge. At least until Lisa looks to speak up again and Ana quickly covers her mouth with her hand.]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
You did good, Lisa...you did good.
[Ana slowly pulls her hand back as Lisa is just flaring her nostrils at this point.]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
Like Lisa said, I’m pretty damn good at what I do. I’ve had my fair share of heartbreaking, embarrassing losses, but that’s character building. You lose so bad one time, you learn never to do it again. And I’ve gotten mine more than I’ve gotten got. I can have some two year “vet” undermine me all she wants, but I’ve already said my piece, she isn’t in my domain.
[A scoff from Ana. She’s not wrong. Rarely is.]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
Let’s not forget there was a time where Camila idolized me, alright? I’m used to disappointing those that look up to me because once they actually come across me, they realize I’m a bit of a cutthroat cunt, and I kind of pride myself in that. Of course, not as bad as Lisa perhaps, but I aspire to be like her one day.
[She winks at her partner who is still glaring a hole right through the camera.]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
We’re the best tag team in this. Lisa can wrestle a hundred matches in a week and still find it in her to beat you and I can do the exact same because that’s what I did when I won the 4CW Championship to stand at the top of the wrestling world. Camila and Rachelle can hold hands with their little Millennium tag title reign, but Lisa and I will go ahead and dump every single title we’ve held by ourselves as well as our trios title, our tag title, and everything else that says we’re coming in to kick your teeth down your pretty little throats.
[Weird wording there, but Ana’s in her groove.]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
When you’re in contention for Couple of The Year, the prestigious award ran by...someone, you come and let us know, but until then, sit down, shut the fuck up, and learn something that your ‘legendary’ trainers could never teach you. And to help you two, since you seem a bit slow, that’s getting absolutely fucking annihilated by the Hellcats, the Wolfcats, the whatever the fuck we call ourselves this week.
[Ana’s glare now matches the intensity of Lisa’s]
ANASTASIA HAYDEN
Hellcats reign supreme.
[Lisa pushes her way back to the forefront because she wants to get the last word in.]
LISA SELDON
Everyone remember what we did today the next time you think about saying something stupid to us.
[She throws the microphone at the nearest wall, putting something of an exclamation point on proceedings. Very wasteful.]
COMMERCIAL BREAK
FAT SAUL
Welcome back y'all. It's the moment we all been waitin' for, the long awaited Battalion Match for a shot at those Battalion Beauts at War of the Worlds! Let's get to it!
​
♫
I DID IT ‘CAUSE I WANNA AND I DID IT 'CAUSE I’M GONNA
AND I DID IT JUST BECAUSE I CAN
I DID IT 'CAUSE IT MAKES ME FEEL SO GOOD,
AND I DID IT BECAUSE FUCK "THE MAN"
♫
​
MIKE DEMPSEY
Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for tonight’s main event of the evening! The following battle is scheduled for one fall, and it is a War of the Worlds Battalion Qualifier Match! Introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 240 pounds, the team of Camila Abrines and Rachelle LeRoux, Unapologetic!
[The lights are darkened but one the first verse is over and “Uncomfortable” is sang, the lights turn back on and Camila is standing at the entrance way, wearing her full length tights and a pullover sweater over her sports bra. LeRoux follows closely behind. The fans boo the chaotic competitors as both yell at a few of them before making their way down to the ring.]
​
FAT SAUL
If y'all remember, Rachelle LeRoux made her presence known here in the Battleground about a month back when she ran in and helped Mikey Svarro take down the 4CW product Kaelan Laughlin. Since then, she's partnered up with Camila Abrines and are set to embark on a journey to put themselves on the map!
MIKE DEMPSEY
And Their Opponents, coming in at a combined weight of 258 pounds, the team of Lisa Seldon and Anastasia Hayden, the Hellcat Spangled Death Squad!
[The lights dim until the arena falls black. There’s an ominous hammerfall as "Destroy 2000 Years of Culture" by Atari Teenage Riot hits the ground running.]
♫
IT'S A DEAD WORLD AND IT'S ABOUT THAT TIME TO CLEAR THINGS HERE!
ONE GENERATION FOLLOWS ANOTHER
BUT SOMETHING IN MY HEAD SAYS KEEP GOING
DON'T GIVE UP
♫
[Lisa and Ana, a pair of Hellcats burst from the curtain amidst a swirling mass of red and purple spotlights. Ana steps forward, throwing up her weird, surfer dude hand gimmick. Lisa hangs back and leaves her to it. Ana chucks her mouthguard in and marches her way to the ring. Lisa saunters after.]
♫
DESTROY 2000 YEARS OF CULTURE
DESTROY 2000 YEARS OF CULTURE
♫
[Ana hops up onto the apron and throws another hand up to the crowd. She then steps through the ropes and gives up the floor. Lisa jumps to the apron in a single stride, leans back to shoot a wink down the camera barrel and then goes up and over the ropes into the ring. Ana has already taken her perch on the top buckle, arms folded, chewing her mouth guard idly. Lisa steps in front of her and leans back into the corner.]
​
FAT SAUL
And now the team that has drawn so much attention to this featured bout, Lisa Seldon and Anastasia Hayden are world renowned competitors, in both singles and tag team competition. They currently mowin' over teams in the Southside Tag Tournament, and now they are doublin' down at a shot at more team gold! And now, it's lookin' like Camila and Ana are gonna kick things off here.
[DING!]
[Abrines and Ana circle one another before striking out! They grapple in the center of the ring in a ball in search of total supremacy. Hayden catches Camila with a hook kick suddenly! The shot sends Abrines back into the ropes leading Anastasia to charge! Camila hits the ropes then bounces forward right into a running blockbuster from Hayden! Abrines is pulled out of the ring by her partner, Rachelle LeRoux!]
​
FAT SAUL
Guns blazin' here!
[Ana reaches through the ropes to taunt both women but catches a pele kick from Camila from the outside! The kick sends Hayden flat on her bottom inside the ring. Abrines slides back into the ring and quickly covers Anastasia!]
… One!
… Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
Gonna take more than that for the Bloodsport host to stay down!
[Abrines quickly gets to her feet while still holding on to Ana. She spits at Lisa before hooking Hayden with a snap suplex. Frankenstein comes through the ropes only to be cut off by the referee then sent back to her corner, Camila gets back to her feet only to met by Anastasia Hayden! She fires open palm strikes at Abrines out of nowhere! Ana works Camila into her corner to tag in Lisa Seldon! Hayden puts her boot up against the throat of Abrines until Seldon gets in the ring to take over.]
​
FAT SAUL
Hayden buildin' some steam and tags in a fresh Frankenstein!
[Seldon comes in fast with muay-thai strikes in the corner! Lisa backs up to get some separation to build up speed. Camila charges out of the corner to catch Lisa with a sudden slingblade! Frankenstein hits the mat which leads Abrines to attempt a running moonsault that Seldon counters with two knees!]
​
FAT SAUL
Camila stays on the offensive but Lisa stops her dead in her tracks.
[Lisa gets to her feet before Camila. Abrines staggers to her feet but remains crouched over. Seldon comes in to catch her with a sit out jawbreaker!]
​
FAT SAUL WITH CROWD
OH!
​
[The crowd pops as Camila bounces back into the ropes and into her partner, Rachelle LeRoux! The referee indicates a tag was made but Rachelle is knocked off the apron by Abrines, who ends up tangled up in the ropes.]
​
FAT SAUL
Uh oh, a little miscommunication there may cost 'em.
[Lisa gets down on one knee out from Camila, who remains tangled up. Seldon mocks her without mercy and doesn’t hear Ana’s warnings from the corner. Lisa looks up to see LeRoux charging at her with a shining wizard! The violent kick sends the veteran flat on her back! Rachelle hooks a leg!]
… One!
… Tw-Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
A little showboatin' earned Lisa that boot to the face.
[Camila calls for the tag which obviously annoys her partner but she relents. Rachelle reaches down to grab two handfuls of Lisa’s hair! She then uses her hold to drag Lisa to her team’s corner before tagging Abrines back in! The crowd’s boos fill the venue.]
​
FAT SAUL
Uhh, that's a lil' unorthodox.
[Camila glides through the ropes to take back over. LeRoux releases Seldon and drops two small handfuls of Lisa’s hair. This infuriates Frankenstein, who leaps to her feet! Abrines gets grappled up soon after coming through the ropes and Lisa catches her with a wicked brainbuster!]
​
"HELL-CATS! HELL-CATS! HELL-CATS! HELL-CATS!"
​
[The crowd begins to chant for the team of a thousand names, leading Seldon to work Camila toward Anastasia Hayden in the corner. Lisa uses solid kicks to each side of Abrines to guide her straight to Ana. Hayden reaches out for a tag and gets one!]
​
FAT SAUL
BOOM! Tag! Ana's back in!
[Seldon twists the arm of Camila to end up behind her, which leads Ana to jump up on the top rope before springboarding off at Abrines for a picture perfect missile drop kick! Seldon ducks through the ropes just as Anastasia hooks the right leg of Abrines!]
… One!
… Two!
… Broken up by LeRoux!
​
FAT SAUL
Rachelle rushes in to make the save!
[Frankenstein dashes back in the ring after Rachelle breaks up the pin. All hell breaks loose as all four women begin fighting! Lisa and LeRoux are swapping blows while Ana and Abrines swing on each other alongside them.]
​
FAT SAUL
We got us an all out brawl here now ladies and gents!
​
[The referee struggles to regain order but in the confusion Camila reaches into her tights to retrieve a set of brass knuckles! The referee reels in Lisa while turning his back to Abrines, who clocks Hayden with a solid right hook with the brass knucks!]
​
FAT SAUL
Camila just cleaned Ana's clock and stripes is oblivious!
​
[The shot widens in slow motion to show the impact of the cheap shot. The shot speeds up to real time as Ana hits the mat, now lifeless. Seldon notices Camila sliding the weapon to Rachelle, who hides them beneath the ring. Abrines then pins Hayden with a wide grin!]
… One!
… Broken up by Lisa Seldon!
​
FAT SAUL
Lisa is havin' none of it!
[Lisa comes flying in after springboarding off the top rope with a leg drop to break up the pin! She then quickly checks on Ana, who assures she can continue. Seldon then turns her ire to Camila. She makes her way at Abrines but the referee cuts her off. She’s not the legal woman, Ana is. Hayden shakes it off still on her back then slowly stumbles to her feet. LeRoux shouts obscenities at Lisa but doesn’t notice Anastasia coming up from behind. Ana hammers Rachelle with a vicious European uppercut to the back of her head! LeRoux goes limp on the mat after the unexpected shot. Camila slips up behind Hayden to roll her up into a bridging pin!]
… One!
… Kick out!
​
FAT SAUL
Quick rollup but Ana is too ring savvy for that nonsense. Looks like Camila is about to make a tag!
[Rachelle reaches out for a tag! Camila obliges! The tag is made, leading LeRoux to glide through the ropes but she trips up a bit and ends up falling into the ring. Rachelle lands on one knee only to get mowed down by a charging Lisa Seldon Yakuza kick! The shot takes Rachelle down and she ends up rolling out of the ring. Abrines catches a running spinning heel kick from Ana out of nowhere!]
​
FAT SAUL
I felt that one in my bones!
​
[The pop can be heard by the sixth row! Abrines hits the mat in a pile. LeRoux is now on the outside while Frankenstein makes her way back to her corner with the referee warning her all the way to the apron. Ana pops up to look for the fleeing legal woman in this battalion match up, Rachelle LeRoux. Hayden notices her on one knee facing away from the ring out the outside near Saul’s table. LeRoux remains laid out in the center of the ring. Anastasia rushes to the corner where Lisa stands out on the apron. They each nod at one another with Frankenstein's eyes widening a bit like something wild is about to go down.]
​
FAT SAUL
Keep ya eyes peeled y'all. I think we're about to see some magic!
[Hayden leaps up on the turnbuckle while Seldon walks out further from the corner out on the apron. Ana is now perched on the top turnbuckle waiting. A big bruise now covers the side of her face courtesy of the brass knuckles. Ana waits until LeRoux gets up and begins to turn around before she leaps off the turnbuckle at Lisa Seldon! Seldon gets caught with a hurricanrana from Ana to slingshot Lisa off the apron and at Rachelle like a missile! Lisa gets tossed at LeRoux by Ana for a wicked flying elbow!]
​
"HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!"
​
FAT SAUL
Oh my god! Ana just used Lisa like a torpedo and dropped Rachelle LeRoux from the outside!
[The crowd goes crazy at the teamwork of these two women. Hayden hits the floor at an odd angle but the innovative maneuver was a complete success. Rachelle ends up slammed against the security barrier with violent force. She slumps over now bleeding.]
[Frankenstein works the crowd after getting back to her feet on the outside. Anastasia twisted her ankle a bit but seems to be fine. She slides into the ring as the legal woman for her team while Seldon rolls Rachelle back into the ring to Anastasia! LeRoux gets up while Abrines remains out cold on the apron. The shot widens to show Ana and Rachelle, who rises to both knees. Ana rushes at LeRoux for a running single leg drop kick to the face! The shot turns to slow-mo to show blood fly before returning to real time to showcase the true brutality of the maneuver! Hayden then hooks a leg to push both of her opponent's shoulders flush against the mat!]
​
FAT SAUL
There it is! She Was Only Seventeen! And now we're about to see the three!
… One!
… Two!
… Three!
​
FAT SAUL
And that's a wrap.
[DING DING DING!]
MIKE DEMPSEY
Here are your winners, and advancing into the War of the Worlds Fatal Fourway Battalion Championship Match, the team of Lisa Seldon and Anastasia Hayden, The Hellcat Spangled Death Squad!
[Lisa and Ana celebrate in the ring while the fans begins to chant, “HELL-CATS!”. The referee steps between the two women to hold up a hand of each in victory!]
​
FAT SAUL
There ya have it folks. Lisa Seldon and Anastasia Hayden put down Unapologetic and will move into the War of the Worlds Main Event Fatal Fourway against the Osaka Rebels and Dead Cute! Catch us again in a fortnight when we make our way to the Hoosier State and find out the last team to advance into the historic Battalion Titles Match when Flash Kassidy and Jay Sinclair, 2 High Kru, take on Brooklyn Light and Iota Psi, Neo Tokyo. G'night y'all!
